Even assuming one’s potential children and their descendants turn out well (which is often not obvious), marriage and children represent an opportunity cost. Given a finite number of hours in a day, the more one is involved with one’s family, the less time one has to benefit others outside of the home. Ideally, we marrieds try to balance the two, but balance automatically means a cost on both sides.

That children are not always preferable to other accomplishments is encapsulated in a famous discussion of Rashi about the offspring (toledot) of Noach. Rashi ponders whether this refers to his children or his good deeds. In other words, even if we have children, living one’s life properly means that their significance may be trumped by the weight of our actions. To read the full article published at the Jewish Press on May 28, 2026, click here.